If only confidence was bottled or in pill form, life would be so easy. After all, most of the criteria for which we strive in order to have "successful life" are all tied to confidence. Landing a job, starting a business, changing careers, asking for a raise, you name it and I guarantee the steps you need to take towards your goals are backed by confidence.
You need the confidence to put yourself out there, get knocked out, kicked while you're down, gut punched and after all of that pick your bloody bruised ego up and do it all over again.
Confidence is something that has never come naturally to me. The tactic that I have used the most in my life to break through the fear of not being smart/educated/talented/well-spoken/good enough is . . . "Fake It Until You Make It". The idea of acting as if you are confident, smart or whatever other feelings you need in your given situation. The science behind 'acting as if' is that if you fake it long enough, your subconscious will eventually believe it's true. I can testify personally to this method that I did begin to feel confidence and as a result, I achieved goals I never thought possible.
Gaining confidence sounds so simple, but in reality it's a very slow process. It is extremely challenging to get out of your comfort zone. The abuse you inflict on yourself mentally through self criticism is insane. (The craziest part is that most of the time you don't even realize you are doing it).
Training your subconscious to help you experience confidence is a constant practice that you need to do, just like brushing your teeth or exercising. If you take the small steps of consistently reminding yourself and solidifying the believe that You Are Good Enough, after awhile you will begin to truly believe it. The hard work is so worth it because the result gives you the courage to go after your goals and stop self sabotage once you do achieve them.
It is hard work at times, but trust me, it is worth it to live a life that you can look back on and say "Ya it scared the sh*t out of me, but I did it anyways - and I am so proud of myself!"
How do you keep it up? Read, journal, listen to audio books, watch Ted Talks, watch youtube videos, use power poses whatever you find brings you to that state of feeling good enough. You don't have to do it all, just find the avenues that work for your personal lifestyle. Whatever you pick, Consistency Is The Key. It doesn't have to be a huge effort but it does have to be repetitive, and it will be a practice that have you incorporate into your life style.
There will be times when life comes at you out of left field, you get busy, you get off balance, or you maybe you get a win so you feel you don't really need to practice anymore because "you got it down". If you are not consistently working on your confidence, those pesky self criticisms come back. Those frenemies 'Self-doubt' and 'Imposter Syndrome' sneak back in under the radar. The only way to show them to the door is to be kind to yourself, know that it happens to everyone, and start your confidence practice back up.
I have included a list of books and videos that I have found helpful on my steady journey of walking with confidence. These are just a few that really made a difference for me, but everyone's path is different so do your own search for articles, books, or videos for ideas that resinate with you.
Stay Strong and continue to walk the path of confidence. I promise you it's worth all of the hard work!!
Fake it until you make it:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=RVmMeMcGc0Y
How to Stop Feeling Like Sh*t:
https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Feeling-Like-Happiness/dp/B078JCLKKT/ref=sr_1_1?crid=2X8V63U570ZQ4&keywords=how+to+stop+feeling+like+sht&qid=1578703090&sprefix=how+to+stop+feeling+like+%2Caps%2C1057&sr=8-1
Like she owns the place book:
https://www.amazon.com/Like-She-Owns-Place-Confidence-ebook/dp/B078GDVGZH
Stop worrying and start living:
https://www.amazon.com/How-Stop-Worrying-Start-Living/dp/0671733354
Unfu*k yourself:
https://www.amazon.com/Unknown-Unfu-k-Yourself/dp/B0731QJ482/ref=pd_cp_129_1/137-5984807-8080432?_encoding=UTF8&pd_rd_i=B0731QJ482&pd_rd_r=c1747386-226e-4257-b484-08be4a26a02d&pd_rd_w=jNizU&pd_rd_wg=Gf3Ds&pf_rd_p=d534d65f-a237-49e4-9070-a58a3a6b8ba4&pf_rd_r=1BXJAWR1X7QRAJZXD5G1&psc=1&refRID=1BXJAWR1X7QRAJZXD5G1
*also shared on the glitterJS blog glitter.js